Untitled
This is how you like to see me
The boy with paper thin cheeks
Awaiting a kiss from your broken glass lips
You like to see me covered in debris
Choking on dust
Choking on my breath
I don't like the taste of blood
So why can't I stop biting my tongue?
I love seeing things through your eyes
(Words) You fail me
The boy with paper thin cheeks
Awaiting a kiss from your broken glass lips
You like to see me covered in debris
Choking on dust
Choking on my breath
I don't like the taste of blood
So why can't I stop biting my tongue?
I love seeing things through your eyes
(Words) You fail me
posted by Information Sniper at 12:40 PM
4 Comments:
I really liked lines 2 and 3. That's a really good actionable metaphor!
I also really liked the blood/tongue lines as well.
It is funny, when you write to express, cannot express in what you write, write anyway about your inability to express.
Most ly lines pilfered from an old song I wrote for the DC5 that has been changed from sounding like Joy Division meets At the Drive In to sounding like Styx ... that's OK though, Styx is all good.
Thanks Mike!
i really liked how the cadance when read was very sharp, like the reader was gagging as they said this.
i dunno if that makes sense but i think it fit with the cathartic reactin that the words bring out in the reader, the whole feel of it being painful and sad. almost like sobbing, with quick inhales of breathe. thats what this poem reminded me of.
i dunno, i had my first voice and diction clas today so maybe its influencing my perceptions.
Why haven't I read this before?
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