Perception
Shapes cut in and out of her peripheral vision
as she walks down the partial lit corridor
not able to see straight
hearing her breathe, feeling the vibrations of her footsteps
completely alone
every crack she sees
a old nursery rhyme creeps in
taunting her until she avoids them
concrete walls loom before her
seamless and endless
blocking her from the outside
she cuts a quick left but here there is nowhere to go but straight
misses all the doors
each shaft of light like a laser
ready for her, to decimate her
her breathe quickens
then she sees the end of the corridor
moving to it
sees the room, safe and secure
completely empty and free of expectations
a shape comes to her
a beak moving like razor sharp pincers
she plays hide and seek
hoping if she doesn't see it, it won't see her
it fades into the bottom of the corridor
and as she looks back she sees it step on a crack and winces in pain
she continues
avoiding all cracks,her mothers face in her eyes
she reaches the room
dark with no one
she chest opens
then she looks back and realizes she dropped her scarf.
as she walks down the partial lit corridor
not able to see straight
hearing her breathe, feeling the vibrations of her footsteps
completely alone
every crack she sees
a old nursery rhyme creeps in
taunting her until she avoids them
concrete walls loom before her
seamless and endless
blocking her from the outside
she cuts a quick left but here there is nowhere to go but straight
misses all the doors
each shaft of light like a laser
ready for her, to decimate her
her breathe quickens
then she sees the end of the corridor
moving to it
sees the room, safe and secure
completely empty and free of expectations
a shape comes to her
a beak moving like razor sharp pincers
she plays hide and seek
hoping if she doesn't see it, it won't see her
it fades into the bottom of the corridor
and as she looks back she sees it step on a crack and winces in pain
she continues
avoiding all cracks,her mothers face in her eyes
she reaches the room
dark with no one
she chest opens
then she looks back and realizes she dropped her scarf.
posted by helloitsme at 12:31 PM
4 Comments:
Jenn! Very nice! Stilla little mysterious, it might take me a while to decipher this one ... very cryptic, and really creepy too! I like the contrasting images childlike innocence (nursery rhymes/hide and seek) with the threatening dark corridor. It has a really good suffocating atmosphere throughtout, which kept me in suspence ... i was just waiting for a vampire to pop out or something.
All joking aside I think this is the best one yet from you though, all though I wouldn't mind hearing from you what the last lines are supposed to mean.
tom- thanks! its very plathian i think, i guess her journals are getting to me, lol. the whole thing is just a representaion of what the mind can see if it wants to.the whole thing is is that she is walking down a ordinary hallway but to her it is a perilois journey b/c of what she perceives. the last lines are just her relief at having made it to her destiantion and then her relaizing that she dropped her scarf and now has to go back.
sorry, no zombies or vampires here! lol.
with the childhood thing i was just thinking how twisted nursery rhymes can be.
I loved this! The end of it was magnificent!
Yes.
Awesome!
I liked this too, especially the line about stepping on the cracks and wincing
The last line confused me though.
But then maybe it is meant to be unpredictable.
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