Write Club

Hole

2011-06-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

Whispering void
Yearns to be filled
So I shovel
Until I am ill

Sick of the shape
Always the same
No matter
What I throw in

The preciously held
The repulsive banal
Equal
When passing the lip

Mute in the hole
No sound or no weight:
If there's a bottom
Then I cannot tell

Event Horizon

2011-05-11T04:17:00.000-07:00

Evolution is amoral
Because everything
Which survives
Does so
For no more reason
Than its fitness
To thrive
And stay alive

No matter what it takes
To propogate the genes
Animals will mate
Without
Monogamous restraint
Without
Morality of religion
Or revered tradition
Or ethical musing
On the human condition
Inhibiting their state
To procreate

Proof inherent
That strict morality
Doesn't fit
With nature's ambiguities
Which allow a clean slate
To be kept more easily
When no scores
Are chalk drawn
By sharp claws
With no laws
But the jungle forms
Which stretch back
To when the universe
Was born

At the hottest time
Billions of years ago
When no conscious decision
Was made
For a singular explosion
To throw matter
As far as it could
Just because it could
Not because it was right
Or wrong
To form clouds of gas
And debris
Which gravitated together
To make stars
And leftovers
To collide
And form planets
Which circled around
Inside
Solar systems

It just happened
With no moral sense
That makes sense
To the human position
To the idea
That so many hold dear
That everything must happen
For a reason
But this is high treason
In the face of nature
Which just works
In seasons
Taking lives
And making lives
In summer and winter
Interjecting
Its own selections
Of hell and high water
Not carved in stone
No resurrections
For lives snuffed out
There is no ever after
For stars
Burned out
Gone supernova

On a lonely road
On one side
Of a planet
An old man
Releases
A wind-up car
With the necessary
Energy
To carry it
Far beyond
The day he dies
To journey on
Around the world
And reach
A distant land
His only hope
That chance
Will force
A baby's hand
To grasp the car
To pick it up
But whether it
Does
Or does not
The baby
Cannot
Understand that
The old man
Conquered
The handicap
Of his lifespan

No heaven
No father
No son
No holy spirit
For dead stars
Just a bubble in the sky
For eyes
To look at
And consider
That one day
The bubble, the sun
Which holds their own system
And cradles life
As they know it
Will burn out
And everything
Around them
Will disappear
In a white hot flash
Because their own star's
Restless heart
Will break
And send
The last of its light
In a shockwave
To career
Along its own path
To streak
Light years
Into the distance
On a collision course
With a night sky
Above some other world
In the future existence
Of life as yet unbidden
On planets
In solar systems
Still fizzing
At their beginnings
Unbeknowing
That a breathtaking
Firework display
In the making
Is on its way
To meet
Eyes as yet unborn
Which will look at
And consider
The last gasp
Our star ever made
This is the connection
The reach
Beyond our grasp
Because the galaxy
Is too large
For our lives
Too short
To reach
Across stars
With our own claws

Old flames

2011-03-03T05:52:00.001-08:00

Old flames
Withstand
All winds, all rains
And all sands of time

Old flames
Relight
Easily
With fuel
Well stored
By loving minds

Old flames
Burn hottest
In the coldest times

Old flames
Can not
Ever really die.

Strike

2010-08-20T03:45:00.001-07:00

Do me damage
Do it hard
And do it now
And I'll do you
The same way
You do me.

Cut me deep
So I know its you
Give me scars
As memories
And I'll scar you
The same way
You scar me

With every strike
We are connecting
With each other
For the moment when
The blow lands

For all our troubles
We can't burst our bubble

A problem shared
Is a problem doubled

Hike

2010-06-16T02:47:00.000-07:00

Early days
The earliest days
In so many years
For me to be feeling
So weak at the knees

Don't want to crease
The weave of our thread
With trivial worries
Hot off the press
Thoughts that you might be
Not as impressed
As I am with you
Because you forget
Things that you said
It fills me with dread

This in my mind
At the foot of a hill
With you at my side
I need to believe
You have your supplies
To tackle the climb
I know I bought mine
To share them with you
When trouble sets in
That's what I will do
To keep you from harm
I hope you will too

Witness

2010-04-07T05:01:00.000-07:00

Theatre hush
A corpse on the boards
Morality play
With no exit stage left

The fleet-footed cadaver
Killed a dream
Struck within discretion
Just to feel something real
Fidelity left dead at the scene

Where there's a will there's a way
For a dead heart to bequeath cold blood unto another
And leave hot veins lukewarm in grief

Basin

2010-01-27T01:38:00.001-08:00

Her tap runs
Every night
To wash away
New paint
Her gutters dark
With shadow lines

Wrinkles deep
Creeping in
Showing off
True design

The mirror shows
An old face
Left behind
No making up
For father time

The mirror glows
With stretched lobes
Burdened long
With gem stones

Precious loads
Condemned to face
Their years alone

For when age condones
Her passing bones
The stones are left
To peeling walls
Raining dust
On naked floors
Captured as the mirror's own

Deserter

2010-01-27T01:01:00.000-08:00

Massed ranks
Of straight backs
Love defending truth

Massed ranks
Of shined shoes
Scuffing on my boots

Massed ranks
Of raised hands
Betray my weak salute

Cushion

2009-12-18T07:13:00.001-08:00

Long drop
Wasn't sure
Jumped anyway

Meant to fall
For you
Not on you

Impact hurt
So you must
Hurt more
Than I do

Banalicide

2009-12-16T07:24:00.000-08:00

Your anecdote graveyard
I piss on the earth
Wank on the headstones
Puke on your work

Ornate solemn tombs
House rotting-out words
I shit in the keyholes
With fecal reserve

Cremation deserved
Your boring old coffins
Encrypting the marrow
The bones never burn

Clown

2009-12-08T05:00:00.001-08:00

Burning turd facelift
And metal chain halo
Crown heaving tits
Sweating, I grip

Stare at the face
Shout in the mouth
Climactic disgust
Showering down

Undercarriage drips
Onto powder burn heels

Screaming out loud

Look at me now

Dolly

2009-12-08T02:32:00.001-08:00

Hello Dolly
Forgotten your name
Emptied the space
To splatter your face
Covered in shame

Speak to me Dolly
What do you do?
Forgotten already
Shaking your hand
Raking your clothes
Waking in strands

Goodbye Dolly
Purpose is served
No tongue for your words
I would never have heard
With porcelain ears
And cranial dome
Ventriloquist's urge
The echo returns

Saddle

2009-12-08T01:53:00.000-08:00

Square wheel
Loaded bones
Shotgun marrow
Barrel blown

Painted road
Bloodshot snow
Oil spit
Fluids low

Lights blue
Darkness true
Ammo dump
Melting glue

Delay

2009-12-08T01:39:00.000-08:00

In between everything
Lost eyes
Seeing doesn't hear
Broken lives

Tactile lies
Eggshell fingers
No print survives

Reach out
Or reach in
To hollow bodies
And solid choice

What's left of yourself to be seen?

2009-10-08T01:57:00.000-07:00

Follow the wind if you want to see where it blows
Wallow in sin if you find that's where it goes
Poison the stream if you want to see how it flows
Torture your soul if you want to see what it knows

Under the skin is the secret of things
The key to the lock is the knife you must bring
If you want answers you must answer to pain
Question the questions that hurt everytime they change

You must suffer if you want to free
What's left of yourself to be seen
You must suffer if you want to see
What it means

Carve through the skin if you want to see where it leads
Starve out the heart if you can't find where it beats
Open the veins if you want to see what it needs
Leave it to die if you find it doesn't bleed

Under the skin is the secret of things
The key to the lock is the knife you must bring
If you want answers you must answer to pain
Question the questions that hurt everytime they change

You must suffer if you want to free
What's left of yourself to be seen
You must suffer if you want to free
What's left of yourself to be seen
You must suffer if you want to see
What it means

Amy

2009-08-09T21:33:00.001-07:00

it was cold. february.
we walked two blocks away.
The mountain's cold dark face stared down at two tiny silhouettes
together in the soft halo of a lone suburban streetlamp by the lakeside.
cold hands shivered backs underneath borrowed sweaters.
we didn't notice the weather.
bare cement smothered in a snow storm.

we walked two blocks away
only to return.
it was cold, after all. february.
but inside
at least for a while
it was warm.

Can Surveillance Detect a Bitter Heart?

2008-11-07T12:58:00.000-08:00

If today you wake up and you think of a new direction
Don't ask questions before you slam the door
'Cause lately I don't know what you've been staying for
I get my needs through synthetic and plasma screens

We used to stay up late, dream of hover cars and new machines
Now I've got cameras that know where you've been
I don't know this person next to me
You're late for work and your boss knows just where you are

I don't think I could ever tell (I hope you never will)
I wouldn't even know how (I hope you never can)
Just be my easy answer (I knew I should have turned)
Just be my easy way out (I knew I should have ran)

And when you go out;
She's pneumatic, she's my everything
Plastics can't let me me down
Cameras will never leave
If my heart should feel no guilt then is this really happening to me?

Is there love where you go?
Once I cared, now I don't want to know
And when you sleep with her you sleep alone
You're later again, I'm already gone
You're already falling apart

AG-TC

2008-10-05T23:17:00.000-07:00

When the frame is creaking
When the field is fallow
When the tin is empty
With nothing left to borrow

Walk ‘round the corner
Trace ‘round the bend
To the store that’s selling
Tomorrow’s never end

When the pill is taken
With gasp and sigh
Life’s lease re-written
With a new way to die

2008-08-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

Pho Sparta!
Smorgasbord of customs meets market economy
A real hand (of progress) to mouth (of saleability) operation, kiddo
We'll assimilate your culture
As long as it's tasty enough

Streaming For Vengeance
Astride the high seas of broadband
Mouse clicks like cannonfire
Victimless crime doesn't pay
Unless the wages of sin have become free culture and freer revenge

Travel

2008-04-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

I've been to the desert with its red red sand and seen the ghost gum white
with branches spread and branches dead and the dead ones black as night.
I've heard loud birds in dead gum trees and watched as they took flight;
Saw the morning sun through the mist and gum and marvelled at the sight.

Where the rocks are red as the hearts that bled
for the land that they once knew,
stories told of a dreamtime old
were lost and their cost is due.

But the gums were plucked,
and billabongs sucked,
and like the bounding kangaroo

they saw the whiteman’s gun in the morning sun,
and faces hard and cruel,

and the rocks ran red
and their hearts all bled
for the land that they once knew.

I've been to the desert with its red red sand and seen the ghost gum white
with branches spread and branches dead and the dead ones black as night.
I have seen old dreams in the rocks and trees when the sun is shining bright;
Saw it fading fast like a blood red past and marvelled at the sight.

ennui accept this

2008-04-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

the winding streets are rorschach blots
and the sidewalks are all starving
and the plazas are all freezing
and the flaneurs are all dead
and the mausoleums grin a porcine grin
and my laughter is sardonic
and my footsteps are a slowing heartbeat
and my driveway is a crime scene
and my neighbours are all tourists
and the monuments are going up faster and faster and faster
and a house of cards is a house of cards is a house of cards

Passing the Bar

2008-04-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

Nights spent touching drunken boys
who slur hungry words above the noise
and stumble
trying to catch her downcast eyes
as they roll across the floor
she dons a stifling, thick, two-mouthed disguise
with her over-bitten tongue she leaves
quivering salival promises
more often than she comes
I want to take her
away from the numb, synthetic fun
so I approach and try to return her wandering eyes
but I'm just another drunken boy
and they're too full of tears for me to hold her gaze
and I'm too full of lies

Flagpole

2008-04-14T04:28:00.000-07:00

Dirty white shoes in the black gold
Dirty white shoes in the black gold
Sticky black sand 'round the ankles
Dirty white shoes in the black gold
Makin' new tracks in the land of old
Makin' new tracks in the land of old
Dirty white shoes in the black gold
Diggin' down deep with the flagpole

Diggin' deep with the flagpole
Diggin' diggin' deep with the flagpole
Diggin' diggin' diggin' deep with the flagpole
Dirty white shoes in the black gold

Dirty white ship full of black gold
Dirty white ship full of black gold
Sticky black sand 'round your anchor
Dirty white ship full of black gold
Sailin' back home with your belly full
Sailin' back home with your belly full
Dirty white ship full of black gold
Sinkin' down deep in the water

Sinkin' deep in the water
Sinkin' down deep in the water
Sinkin' sinkin' down deep in the water
Dirty white ship full of black gold

Dirty white shoes with the black soles
Dirty white shoes with the black soles
Sticky black sand 'round the ankles
Dirty white shoes with the black soles
Leaving deep cracks and your black holes
Leaving deep cracks and your black holes
Headin' back home with your flagpole
Dirty white shoes with the black soles

The Temptress

2008-03-27T03:06:00.000-07:00

Well I was bumping and jumping on a saturday night
In a venue with a retinue right under the lights
Pulsating, gyrating in the thick of the sound
Tearing up the weekend with the rest of the town
When all of a sudden, well I turned around
And fortuity of circumstances parted the crowd
Before me, deplore me was a vision of grace
Too blasphemous a vision for a god to create
She looked like an angel to me
But she moved like the devil from what I could see
She slithered towards me so effortlessly
A snake in the grass, she was coming for me

She turned me away from the future
She turned me away from the past
She pulled me in close in the present
Then she pushed me outside in the dark
She touched me and stroked me
Somehow awoke me
Pulled me inside her so fast
I looked in her eyes and I was hypnotised
I wondered how long it would last

She looked like an angel to me
But she moved like the devil from what I could see
She slithered around me so effortlessly
A snake in the grass, she was all over me

...

She bagged me then dragged me back into the place
Then we scorched across the floor along the border of taste
We were indecent, mistreatment of the boundaries ensued
The doormen came a-calling when she flaunted the rules
Well all of a sudden she was out of the door
For unspeakably relieving me right there on the floor
They threw me out too in a one sided-fight
Then I ran to catch up with her out in the night
She looked like an angel to me
But she moved like the devil from what I could see
She slithered away from me effortlessly
A snake in the grass, she was hidden from me

She turned me away from the future
She turned me away from the past
She pulled me in close in the present
Then she pushed me outside in the dark
She touched me and stroked me
Somehow awoke me
Pulled me inside her so fast
I looked in her eyes and I was hypnotised
I wondered how long it would last

She looked like an angel to me
But she moved like the devil from what I could see
She slithered away from me effortlessly
A snake in the grass, she was too fast for me

Carousel

2008-03-06T08:46:00.001-08:00

All the city lights are fighting right in front of me
Lighting up my enemies
Flooding through the night-time
People stumble and I fumble with a melody
Mumbling obscenities
But nobody can hear me

Serenading ladies who are rushing by
Swaying on the pavement waving at the sky
Laughing at the passing of another night
Everything is spinning but I don't know why

Everything is spinning
But I don't know why

All the taxi cabs they choose to turn their backs on me
Dancing round a centrepiece
Of cobblestones and neon
People spill into the middle of the carousel
Poorly tailored animals
Circling each other

Serenading ladies who are rushing by
Swaying on the pavement waving at the sky
Laughing at the passing of another night
Spinning
Not living
Existing
Subsisting

On lies

I am not like them at all so I drag my bottle on the wall
and I walk towards the nearest thing I see
I stare into the water there and share my story with the air
that doesn't care it blows away from me
Then I climb over the side and spread my arms as far and wide
as they will go until I know It's time to yell I want to show
the world that I cannot be told and I cannot be bought and sold
I'm going to be going to be free

All the city lights
Are fighting right in front of me
In front of me

All the taxi cabs
They're turning back around for me

For me

Proximity

2008-02-22T16:49:00.001-08:00

The streetlights run up the highway like the teeth of a zipper and shine light into your room as you are laying asleep in your bed, dreaming of driving to all those far away places away from where you are.

Walk Away

2008-02-22T04:46:00.000-08:00

Why are you running when nothing's calling out to you?
Why are you going without knowing what you want to do?
Do you believe that if you choose to leave
You're getting a reprieve from all that you've achieved?
No matter where you go, you always know where you have been.

And now you've chosen not to stay
I can see you are afraid
Now you have to face the day
You walk away
Walk away

When you go, do you know what you hope to find?
Or will you turn and yearn for what you left behind?
Will you feel relieved or will you feel deceived
With no-one there to see your victories and defeats?
Reeling in the feelings, dealing with them on your own?

And now you've chosen not to stay
I can see you are afraid
Now you have to face the day
You walk away
Walk away

You're gonna walk away
There's nothing I can say
To try and make you stay
(repeat)

2008-02-08T15:03:00.000-08:00

Blown away
to stutter and die
The caterpillar who forgot
it was a butterfly

2008-01-10T08:38:00.000-08:00

Get well soon, Onkel Tom.

The Phonecall

2007-11-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

Through the glass
I see you struggle
Your back to me
Inside a bubble
Fumbling with the latch
In trouble

Finally, the window slides
And suddenly
Between the smears
On dirty glass
A reflection
Of your face appears

Your make-up runs
All black with tears

And all the ever-present fears
Of passing time
And winter years
Stain your cheeks
In fading sun

Her last remaining day
Has come

Panopticon

2007-10-31T21:55:00.000-07:00

Never safe from the baleful eye
On the fringes in the light
Veins absorb its rigour
Hearts co-opt its misery

Shiftless, godlike
The surly giant does not sleep
It grins madly with a thirsty toungue
And with each turning of the circle, you turn as well

Flashbulb

2007-10-23T06:55:00.000-07:00

Did it mean something when you leant on my thigh?
Under the table as we posed for a picture
I went liquid inside

I should have reached over and covered your fingers
Squeezing them gently
Requesting they linger.

The briefest of contact: No more than it takes
For a flashbulb to fade
To unmask the fake

2007-10-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

Of late, I have come to an unfortunate epiphany; that unforseen damage was done when I tried to switch off a part of myself.

The memory of a night spent together between the sheets, maybe a year before, was becoming too much to bear. She had just broken up, and so had I, and we were thrown together by a friend into a room. I did not want to take advantage, so we just talked - her to the empty air before her and me to her back. Then we slept. When I awoke she was gone - downstairs, so I sighed and rolled over. Our paths crossed sparingly and before long she was entwined with another. I saw her one last time before she went travelling far away for many months - nodding and smiling and wishing them both well. It was then, as I stepped out through the door, that I pushed the button and lost more than I bargained for, yet less than I planned, because buttons and pulleys do not control the heart.

Nowadays, I remember feelings more than I experience them; as contrived approximations to maintain the illusion of emotional connection, and that was not in the plan. I have committed some horrible, naieve butchery upon myself. I could blame another; some phantom who fled into the night whilst I picked up the knife and scrambled for the lights. But no. It is me, I am sure - trying furiously to deny the will of a powerful beast long tethered inside me that cannot be switched off.

I know this because I never felt it before and I do not remember feeling before it; this sensation forever unjaded against the always-fading. Sometimes, I think this feeling that is so lonely in it's power might be all that is left of me, and I am glad that it is, in a way, because when that button was pressed the feeling survived and something else fell into the darkness; maybe Selfishness and Foolhardiness. Or was it Courage and Bravery? Maybe it was The Opportunity Who Knocked falling hard against the blackness down there - the one in a million chance lying broken in the dirt.

There is not much I can taste anymore, so the memories I have could be bitter or sweet; playing with breadsticks and piggy-backs and cameras at a party when I met your new boyfriend; repelling swans at the waterside when the clouds broke for us - the only sun I saw as I passed through a storm on my holidays; when we were disguised holding hands in the street - my most precious of memories.

Yet precious is dangerous, and perhaps I should have courage and risk loving another, lest I wither and waste in the summer of years I might wish I had treasured.

Ouroborous

2007-08-31T12:22:00.001-07:00

Circling the coils of chaos
As above, so below
Massive entropic ocean
Engender the fierce spirit

From its bloodied maw, its tail
Its graveyard of false assumptions
From a tail, to a rope, to a thread
From which we are hung

2007-08-31T07:41:00.001-07:00

Fills my heart
To see you so
Happy eyes aglow

In one piece
After I broke you
How little did I know

No fear for you
Holding him
Soullfullness on show

Fills my heart
To see you so
Impervious to blows

Mattress

2007-08-24T05:59:00.000-07:00

Wet slide
Human hides
Writhing sheets
Perspire

Bloody smear
Powdered cheek
Damp crevasse
Impasse

Flesh prays
Animal sway
Silence runs away

Untitled

2007-08-20T07:15:00.000-07:00

He is dead
To me
And for him
I do not know
How to grieve

Perhaps that is
In part because
He has been dead for years

Not just to me
But all that bear
The shell
That stands
Before them

His drunken lies
Consumed him
The empty vessel cast aside

Signals

2007-07-31T03:00:00.000-07:00

I'd love to tell you how I came
To be the way I am today
But that just ain't the way that I behave

I'm the one who walks the walk
But doesn't ever talk the talk
That's necessary for understanding me

I'll lead you on, you'll play along
You'll think you've got me then I'm gone
I'll cheat on you without ever getting
Close enough to ravage you
I'll misdirect then damage you
Just because I can you know
Because hurting you
Comes naturally to me

Someday I might let you in
I might tell you everything
That depends on what you offer me

Because you are weak and I am strong
I will keep you hanging on
Until I'm bored of stringing you along

And when I'm gone you'll ask yourself
If you could trust somebody else
After everything that I have done
To mix the signals up so well
That when you meet somebody new
You're second guessing every move
And you will know
It's all because
Of me

Country Mouse

2007-07-26T00:26:00.000-07:00

Pistons are racing gears and chewing exhaust is streaming into the air trees zip past windows whistling small swooshes that synchronize with the streetlights biting as teeth of a zipper sewing together the highway.
Breaks. Cease. Shut.
Empty. Faces. Stare.
Door. To door. To door.
No greens. No Yellows. Reds.
Exhaust. Clouds. Chokes.
Dissipates. Fades. Diffuses.
Back into the air.

Four Letter Word

2007-07-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

Four letter word
Never gives up
Even when I want it to
Because it knows better
Than to listen
When I rant

Four letter word
Butterfly needle
Flutter in my veins
Catterpillar tracks
Setting me apart

Four letter word
Unstoppable growth
No matter what
Cannot be choked
Or torn apart
Dyes only in the wool;
The fabric of my heart

2007-07-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Feet get heavier
Every morning
The leash feels tighter
People feel samier
The world gets smaller
Every day you're not seeing it

The boundaries
Just out of sight
Unless I turn on the TV

The gaps get bigger
Harder to close
Or more difficult to jump
When your feet get heavier
Every morning.

Cosmonaut Returns

2007-06-03T02:22:00.001-07:00

The middle of the night
The center of the skies
One light
For my eyes
Blood pushes through
Rushing towards you

Floating
Dancing
Spinning
Drowning
Within you
…Weightless

Crashing
Ripping
Burning
Drowning
Without you
… Breathless

The middle of the night
The center of the skies
Always in sight
Chained to my eyes
Never to be
Weightless or free

From distance
Or Gravity.

Cockroach

2007-06-01T07:12:00.000-07:00

Zit Man
Pus-filled skin hole
Pore on the 1st floor

Inhuman stink
Oozing around
Smoke under a door
Not to be opened

Flakes round the bowl
Organic confetti
Scattered
Unwanted
Leftover breakfast
Congealed and old

Prison bed
Shroud of Turin
Detaining the horrors
Lurking within
Worship your mistress
Asbestos senses
Forgiving your sins

Zit Man
Pus-filled skin hole
Poor on the 1st floor

2007-05-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

My life is like a flower
a daisy
You're pulling off the petals

Love me now,

Love me not,

Love me now,

Please

Love is..

2007-05-21T04:02:00.000-07:00

...constant
A shadow she casts
Darkness be damned
A welcome reminder
Still trailing my path

...confusion
Did she take my hand?
Or did I take hers?
And who broke the link
when we had to part?

...despair
My head in my hands
Tears in my heart - neither happy nor sad
They are somewhere between
Searching the sky
Tired of running
With nowhere to hide

..memory
Her every touch
Leaves a mark on my skin
No matter how rare
The contact she gives

...anticipation
Years in the making; The First Time We Kiss
Yet to arrive
May never show up
Or may have been missed

..a mystery
That can't be explained
What she posseses
Could never be named

...a moment
Every parting
That we ever shared
Seconds in passing
But years in my care

2007-05-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

A short introduction may be necessary. This was written when I was about 18, and was subsequently used for a now partially discarded MC:LC song. I hope to resurrect it soon, removing some of the more banal parts of course.

Fleet of foot, hard of heart
Two of the things that keep my apart
From the thieves and the murderers
Oh Lord, thank you for the suburbs
Proximity breeds contempt;
At least that's what the newsman said
Is it so bad to want to hide
When it's such an ugly world outside?

But they owe you nothing
They owe you nothing at all

I build my walls - dig my moat
In my keep, I won't come out
Lock my doors, in my car
Hide my sons, bear my arms

Detach

2007-03-30T01:58:00.000-07:00

Breaking away
From superior gazes
I don't want to hold onto
As they judge the descent
That I walk through in phases

Imagined or real
Paranoia revealed
By meeting their eyes
So I shot out the lights
Embracing the dark
Of untouchable slights

Spiralling downward
To meet with the night
Where no-one can see me
Where no-one can hear me
Where no-one can 'save' me
From whatever the truth is
That sticks in and bleeds me

Snapshot

2007-02-22T08:44:00.000-08:00

Memory of you
Framed by the sun
Your whole body smiling
A rare glimpse of light

Memory of you
My favourite of all
I hope you are well
And you think not of me

Memory of you
Forgeting the end
I can't watch it again
This one will do

High Horse

2007-02-02T02:40:00.000-08:00

Don't charge me
I will chop you down
Cut that frozen wooden mane
And splinter ever-silent hooves
Your polished steed
All broken up
Dragged away
For me to use

Solid fuel anger
To feed the fire
Stoke it
Watch it
Start to flare
Swelling up
The boiler sweats
And creaks
And pops
In heavy air

I like the way
It bubbles up
An angry metal burning spot
An ulcer in the searing dark

Jail Bait

2007-01-26T03:40:00.000-08:00

Miriam Oh Miriam
Made up like a doll
Fixing your hair
As if it will vanish
Without permanent care
You make me feel old

Miriam, Oh Miriam
You are coy to the last
Pure in your mystery
As the bus comes to rest
Moving away from me
So I don't have to ask

Miriam. Oh Miriam
The ride ends for us
Swapping our smiles
As I turn away
Completely beguiled
I step off the bus

Save us, save us L, save us from e-banality!

2007-01-16T15:09:00.000-08:00

This blog is ironically sparse
A place for artists, the design is a farce
But instead of just protest
I've done my best
By dumping responsiblity to someone else;

Never fear,
L is here
Or at least on here way
Gosh, my rhyme was gay
And not very PC either.

And because this ryhmes
It can't be a lie.

Last Bus Home

2006-12-21T23:26:00.000-08:00

Finger-knuckle Rainbow
And clouds drawn by thumb
Reveal girls in pink dresses
Against dirty black Walls

Put the Sun in the corner
With a ring-finger sweep
Unmasking the flicker
Of a fairy-lit Mosque

Index-tip Seagulls
Glow orange, then fade
From streetlight creations
To shadows of grey

Drowning

2006-11-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

The water is at your neck
My words around your throat
Dragging you into an abyss
A sucking black vortex of sympathy and blame

The water is in your lungs
You're choking on rhetoric
I'm gagging from the stench
One foot on the high moral ground, the other on your head

The water runs from my eyes
I just want you to see things my way
But it's dark
And the sun isn't rising any time soon

Nuclear Summer

2006-11-13T09:21:00.000-08:00

*Lyrics to a new MC:LC song; this one is about two atomic bombs falling in love*

I can see how this is going to end
Please don't stop me, I still want to pretend
The damage done when I fell for you
From up above the city
And I still think I can hear your voice
Among the radio-activity

But when you're away, you know it's tearing me apart
This life is radiation sickness for my heart

The fallout from that nuclear summer
Has turned my world to ash
Couldn't find the courage to ask you
Our time went by much too fast
Atoms collide, time flies by
You're allways in my heart
Can't wait untill the next atomic age
When you take me into your nuclear arms

When we meet again, I hope that you'll be proud
Of the way my heart is shaped like a mushroom cloud

Nuclear Summer

deathbridge

2006-11-10T14:57:00.000-08:00

a road, slick and shiny
an accident waiting to happen
hot breathe racing down into the coulees- folding over and over and over
strength leaving replaced by complacence

Blind Faith

2006-11-06T07:29:00.000-08:00

Three wronged
Knives drawn
Cut someone
Deep

Must choose
Gun drawn
Sights trained
Squeeze...

Shot fired
Target hit
Bulb smashed
Mistake

Dark room
Target quiet
Guilt grips
To me

Breathe hard
Step forward
Pain erupts
beneath

Glass shards
Dig hard
Crunch into
My feet

Miss Icarus

2006-10-31T02:52:00.000-08:00

'Self destruct mode'
I heard those words
Spoken of you

Imagination wild
Paints a horrible picture
Watching you fly
Too close to the Sun
For no better reason
Than fear of the ground.

Come back down.
Burn your wings.
Look at him nearest
And remember what happened
When he didn't burn his.

They finally broke
When he hit the ground
Is that what you want,
Unpainted clown?

But discipline fled
Sometime before
Now emotion controls you
Dangerous, Impulsive
Ruling your head.

You always return
Like a moth to flame
To put out the light.
I pray for the rain.

2006-10-27T06:58:00.000-07:00

They used to unveil buildings here, and people would applaud
Now we grasp the sandstone with one hand, in a fearful death grip
And we erect another cage of steel and glass with the other

This place is a black hole, a void of meaning
It changes people to bank accounts to cars to mortgages
To nice teeth to a good job to nice kids to pension plans

But I'll be there, in every nook and cranny
Drinking water from drains, smearing bloodstains on the sidewalks
Inscribing my name onto the walls

Thunderbolt

2006-10-23T05:09:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the day that we met?
We got drunk at a party and you made a bet
That we couldn't get the parents to dance
For their son on his birthday, I'll never forget
When you took his father and I took his mother
Later they the left us dance with each other
We span around and I looked at you
I got confused that we knew one another

C/ Thunderbolt from up on high
You struck me down with a lightning strike
Thunderbolt will you tell me when,
When will you come and strike me down again?

Do you remember you kissed me outside?
Then under the table when we went back inside
You said that you wanted nobody to see
Whatever it was that you wanted to hide
But I didn't care so when you went upstairs
I dragged you to bed and we fell asleep there
Holding our hands I was thinking of plans
And knowing they could never go anywhere

C/

When we awoke later on in the day
You found my phone after losing my name
It's a shame but I blame all the gin that we drunk
For a change I don't care I still feel the same
I cannot forget someone I barely met
I'm glad that we did and my only regret
Is that you will be gone for seven months long
And the briefest encounter is all that I get

Thunderbolt from up on high
You struck me down with a lightning strike
Thunderbolt will you tell me when,
When will you come and strike me down again
In a flash I was smashed when you crashed through me
Blowing out the cobwebs that I couldn't see
I miss you already yet I don't know why
I hardly even saw you, Thunderbolt in my sky

"your old road is rapidly changing."

2006-10-22T15:27:00.000-07:00

a once forgotten memory
resurfaced
a ripple on a something crossed so long ago.

isolated in a dark room
a red light glowing as the mind ceases to accept outside reality
until it comes barging through the obscure black and white print
there
before eyes which though blinking still see it clear
crystal clear

uncomfortably clear
and while questions abound
a simple phrase echoes
incessently
"dont think twice, its alright"

breathing constricts as vision blurs
2am, 3am, 4am, 5am
the clock no longer has seconds, just hours
endlessly ticking until hours no longer matter
daylight and night is the same

everyplace looks the same
while the yearning for difference dies
without even being realized
a contintent streches before and the bumps even out

people traveling, migrating
while change is being accepted as not change at all
and a window looking out into the world sees only the world
as if the world could fit into a window frame.

2006-10-18T02:30:00.000-07:00

Out of the darkness
From shadows of past
Spectre, you move
Deceptively fast

Instinct, my hero
Forces my breath
And my hand to my side
It anticipates death

Drawing my sword
My breath in the air
Heavily frightened
By something out there

Thought you were slain
The blade in your chest
Your body so deep
Your soul laid to rest

But no, I can see
When I look at my shoes
Your blood is upon them
A tell-tale clue

And when I look back
Down the well travelled path
I see my own footprints
Lead into the dark

Now in the silence
I wait for your strike
To rain down upon me
In the blackness of night

2006-09-29T03:00:00.000-07:00

You saturate me
Like newspapers in the rain
All my words run into each other
At the edges
Of the page

You inspire me
Like the breaking of the dawn
After the clouds of a summer rain
The light triumphs
Over tears

An OkamiToast joint

2006-09-06T05:14:00.000-07:00

Good god.

Will I feel this forever?

Searching every face
on every corner
For a trace of someone
Who I cannot discover
Because she walks with another
And calls him her lover.

What if?

What if I chomped down on the bullet
And told her I loved her
And then she wished on a star
For a hole in the ground
To swallow her up
And a landslide to cover
What we have right now
as friends with each other?

She is..

My unobtainable Muse
She fuels the fire
I'm afraid I might lose

I burn bright in the night
From her flames
That I choose
To stand so very close to
Because I cannot refuse
The spit and the crackle
And the pain that informs me
That I'm still alive
Self abuse

I adore thee.

There is no combination of vowels or consonants that could wrap up and present the sunshine of July, to somehow make it more beautiful than it is.

2006-09-06T00:21:00.000-07:00

Like drops of rain
We are falling
With the weight of
What is left unsaid

And it sneaks up on me
Steadily rising
When I am walking
Down Empty Hallways

And it pours in
From all angles
Slowly raising up my body
Squeezing the air out of my chest

Until every breath
Just whispers your name

Black Hole

2006-08-15T08:42:00.000-07:00

Once bright star
You collapsed on yourself
Now nothing escapes
Your invisible pull

Once bright star
Some fault at your core
Caused you to implode
Now inward, you fall

Once bright star
Dead deep inside
Destroying outside
Fatal to all

Once bright star
Your event horizon
Means no more return
For those who you fool

Withdrawal

2006-08-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

I still awake
Upon the edge
Every night in bed

Turn around
No one there
Only in my head

Mattress space
I left for you
Pushed me to the edge

The ghost of you
Still lying there
Reciting what I said

Darkness fell
So long ago
Careless where it treads

The only light
A Streetlamp glow
Comforts me instead

When morning comes
I will awake
Still hanging from the ledge

I could..

2006-07-19T04:04:00.000-07:00

I could fall from anywhere:
Grace, Favour, Humility.
As long as you were there to catch me.

I could take a blow anywhere:
My skull, My heart, My pride.
If you were the one to land it.

I could watch all of my dreams fade:
Recognition. Conquest. Forgiveness.
If you were the one to wake me.

I could face all of my fears:
Regret and Age and Karma.
If I could only face you.

I could face the truth

2006-07-19T00:32:00.000-07:00

Out running the fences
Back where we were
Those lonely people

Last tastes of cement
Cigarette ashes
Little halos that chase the tired eyes

Split rusted links
Little voices calling names
When caught in the wind

Moments together
Floating on water
Washing down the drain

Crisscrossing touches
Run down our sides
Deep as barbed wire

You’re just like a star
But you never shine like the sun

Two blue eyes
That could open up slowly
Covering everything with
Snow
White
Feathers

Just shine like the sun

Autumn

2006-07-19T00:22:00.000-07:00

Bleached in the sun
Brambled mess-
handsome and sterile
Tabletop
Stump

Our dignified summer dinners
Below, Underfoot
Belly up in the sun
Rot the foul roots
Open-faced caskets
But just laugh
We turn and sigh
“How late it is…”

Take the tiny tree in my bedroom-
The tree in my bedroom

Cut off all the branches
Cut off all the branches
Cut off all the branches
Cut off all the branches

Let them hit the ground
as weak leaves in the fall

Dime A Dozen

2006-06-28T00:38:00.000-07:00

Sit alone, Dead eyes
'Where could they be?'
Missing the pretty sounds
Out they had wandered
From under your guard
Lets then pretend
That there is someone still there

'Lost in the forest,
Drowned out at sea?'
Ask the empty windows,
The steel frames and bolts

There is someone still there
Claimed the tongue of your bard
'Where could they be?'

And they were starring
As you missed the pretty sounds
Dead eyes wander
And no heart is around

The Pigeon are fucking on the sidewalk-
Summer is here again.

That blind, deaf and dumb kid plays some mean pinball

2006-06-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

I, to write a poem
Rock Opera distracts
Pete Townsend is fuct

Messiah at gunpoint

2006-06-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

He wants to save you
From the burden of choice
From multitask suicide
From death by a million paper cuts

He wants to solve all of your problems
The will to live vs. the need to survive
The darkness of being vs. waking life
Falling upwards through a kaleidoscope of blinding reflections

Different from each other Christ for the future
He builds a bonepile of false assumption
He wears a halo of gunsmoke
He walks on the ashes of the age of indifferance

He wouldn't do this if he hated you

Heroine

2006-06-20T03:49:00.000-07:00

I left you because
Just because
of the way it all was

I'll tell you why
You made me cry
Like somebody died
You broke me inside

'Addicted to you'
Words that you used
To try and defuse
But they only confused
Like narcotic abuse

I was always there
To break your despair
Stroking your hair
when no one else cared
But still you were scared
That my love was impaired
Despite all we shared
So you smashed our repairs

That was too much to bear

So now I walk on
I am grinding along
Shrapnel embedded
When I triggered the bomb

You were my cargo
In a way you still are
Lodged in my body
Instead of my heart

Parade

2006-06-16T23:02:00.000-07:00

Beating our chests with knuckles scraped bare from the pavement
Snarling
Howling
We race across the gridlines they have set

Their greyed and wizened jowls snap at our heels
Spitting curses at what they cannot have back
And as our feverish hands rip and tear at the artifice
The fact that we will soon be as them is strangely comforting

The Grace of Impurity

2006-05-17T06:35:00.000-07:00

Oh what poor fortune!
To look most beautiful,
When you're feeling least so.

How much sorrow was heaped upon you,
So one might see you pout,
To make that beauty grow?

Breathtaking frown,
When life gets you down,
Cruelty of fate such an elegant blow.

2006-05-11T07:02:00.000-07:00

Your eyes drop
When mine fall on yours
Use my newspaper like a door

My eyes drop
When yours fall on mine
Tempted by you every time

Love is a mistress
and lust is a wife
Forever to court me
the bane of my life

2006-04-02T01:37:00.000-08:00

Tommy was a chemists son
But Tommy is no more
For what he thought was H20
Was H2S04

it cant be taken back

2006-03-22T18:02:00.000-08:00

a hand against a mirror
eyes refelcting what isnt seen by anyone
a phone call shatters the still
shrilly calling out
the person on the other end wanting to be desperate
the issues contrived and bloated intentionally
there is no small in their life

the click as it is picked up
guilt and resentment reaching out for the handle
words drift out to ears that arn't really listening but closed up with the voice of regret
the fimilar words- "36 hours"-drift in and out- "how many times?"
larynx vibrates and vocal folds open to say "yes, i will be right there"
a sigh and then a click
the reciver returned to the cradle
sitting down immobile.

This Could Be Anywhere

2006-03-19T14:13:00.000-08:00

She feels the sharp jut of the television set into her stomach, and she folds in half. She can feel her dress hiked up to the small of her back. She feels the first squaddie penetrate her with a sharp thrust, then the next, then the next, then the next. In the reflection of her broken front window, she can see them laughing. The spoils of victory are theirs. She stops fighting.

Later it will burn when she urinates.
Later she will vomit in the mornings.
Later, her child will never know his father.

He tries to call out, but the pain from his broken jaw reduces his cries to a gurgle of agony. He is wreathed in a miasma of tear gas and gunsmoke, a dirty halo of a centuries worth of research and development. He digs himself into the ground, like an animal in the dying throes. A hailstorm of rifle butts and leather boots reduces him to a sobbing heap of defeat. He sees a kaliedoscope of supernovas and shooting stars, before it all implodes on him. He stops fighting.

Later he will spit up the remainder of his teeth.
Later he will vomit all day long.
Later, his cause of death will be listed as "severe internal bleeding".

His neck must broken. He hasn't moved in at least half an hour. He lies wispy and frail, a transient and grotesque tableau of broken innoncence splattered all over the living room floor, walls and ceiling. There is a small crater in the wall behind the front door that matches the back of his broken skull, and there are bloodstains spattered on the sergeant's uniform, the last evidence of what he will later claim was an act of self defence. His hands clutch the squirt gun. His mother screams.

Later he will not wake up.
Later his body will be find itself in a mass grave.
Later, years in the future, the brother he never met will swear revenge.

Outside the desert sands dance in the wind. The birds song reaches a deafening crescendo under the jungle canopy. The shelled out and abandoned streets scream bloody murder. The forests cry revenge. Whatever.

Schmutzige Liebe (German for Englishmen)

2006-03-05T08:27:00.000-08:00

Pull me into your web, with spidery hands
Make me crawl, serpentine and played out
Each vein of my weathered hands
A roadmap to lust

Bruised and swollen eyes recount
Hotels and motels
Sheets still crusted stale passion
Broken mirrors, broken bones

Gums bleeding, chomping at the bit
Make me choke it down
Make me keep it down
Make me hiss and bite

Fingers sticky with blood
From reaching in my wallet, or in my pants?

Perception

2006-03-04T12:31:00.000-08:00

Shapes cut in and out of her peripheral vision
as she walks down the partial lit corridor
not able to see straight
hearing her breathe, feeling the vibrations of her footsteps
completely alone
every crack she sees
a old nursery rhyme creeps in
taunting her until she avoids them
concrete walls loom before her
seamless and endless
blocking her from the outside
she cuts a quick left but here there is nowhere to go but straight
misses all the doors
each shaft of light like a laser
ready for her, to decimate her
her breathe quickens
then she sees the end of the corridor
moving to it
sees the room, safe and secure
completely empty and free of expectations
a shape comes to her
a beak moving like razor sharp pincers
she plays hide and seek
hoping if she doesn't see it, it won't see her
it fades into the bottom of the corridor
and as she looks back she sees it step on a crack and winces in pain
she continues
avoiding all cracks,her mothers face in her eyes
she reaches the room
dark with no one
she chest opens
then she looks back and realizes she dropped her scarf.

I am

2006-03-02T08:25:00.000-08:00

I am a sea
Unexplored
Secrets I hide
Suffocate in the deep

I am the sky
Fragile bubble
Ready to burst
That keeps the divide

I am the space
Beyond what I know
Stars that I see
Something of me

2006-02-20T21:29:00.000-08:00

Slowly, pull my fingers from my ears
And wipe the blood that trickles down my cheeks
I can see your lips move
But you don't seem to say anything at all

It's no different from before

Because this is the Golden Age of Communication
Where everyone talks at once
Where the air is full of noises
A screeching crescendo falling on deaf ears

2006-02-16T09:05:00.000-08:00

Is that love in your eyes
or just mine reflected?
Whenever they meet
I feel hopeless and naked
afraid you can see
the life i've been dreaming
Where i'm no longer bound
to a love that i'm faking

I remember the strongest
that I ever felt
after you went away
and I let it all out
When a moment we shared
was found in a picture
Forever to haunt me
in permanent seizure

The horrible truth
That I should have told you
Flooded my heart
and I drowned in the sorrow
Somebody pulled me
From out of the water
It wasn't you so when she led
I followed

I tried to forget
as we knitted together
The strands of our lives
In a pact made forever
Then you emerged
from a crowd in the summer
And something inside me
Buckled and severed

You came and touched me
I woke up from a coma
I didn't know I was in
until it was over
I blinked in the sun
and I cried in the darkness
For all that I knew
I would never discover.

2006-02-13T07:51:00.000-08:00

Weight lost
Vanity cost
Self loathing increase

Weight on
Hard-on
My reflection is a disease

Does she
want me?
Adoration I need.

From no-one
I know
To hanker after me.

Lost strength
Weak distend
Hate what I see

2006-02-12T20:26:00.000-08:00

Your lunch is on display again
Chicken salad, a bit of chocolate, semen
Trying to swallow your insecurity
(Sometimes it swallows you)

My heart is on my sleeve again
Over my sweaty palms clutching torn up letters
Stamped and dated, each one sealed
(Sometimes with a kiss, sometimes with uprooted hair and chewed up fingernails)

I know those aren't crocodile tears
But why do you keep drying them on stony shoulders?
Basking in a lonely spotlight
Caressed by empty words

I'd tell the truth, but I wouldn't want to look pretentious
I'd pray, but honesty is such a dead religion

Still, my broken back could shoulder a little more self-doubt
My black lungs could hold enough air to keep our heads above the tide
My hands, scarred and deadened, can still grip this wheel
Long enough to shrink this scene in my rear-view mirror

Baby, I've got a throat like an aviary
And I can sing our dreams into flight

2006-02-08T00:54:00.000-08:00

Spit
With those broken teeth
Chewed up churned out lips
You've got nostalgia for smoke stained rooms
T.V. lit silohettes
Quotes of what's hip

Hard
Like cool glassy faced bohemions
Judgement fists to assult
Asses planted firm
All beating hearts that move
Words to live by from pillars of salt

Needles
Make your little eyes
Defeaters of the stillborn dance
Empty ribcaged champions
This waste you are king
Unless its rotten there smells no romance

Hail
Downbeat but just chasing
That sweet embrace
With your cliche wisdom
And recycled epiphanies
Just another brick to the face

Yeah man, yeah.

Dystopia Unravelling, pt. 1: By Ropes, Through Dirt

2006-01-27T19:56:00.000-08:00

The process begins by isolating the paranoia, and then the paranoid themselves. Paranoia meant fear, fear meant mistrust, mistrust meant opposittion, and opposition meant liquidation. My sentence was not read to me, or even given to me as printed record; rather, it was nothing to me but an icy conglomerate of green letters on a foreboding black screen.

This place they have brought me to; this is the place of wailing, the place of the gnashing of teeth. This is the place where you get to take your last breath before the big plunge. At least they were polite, in a cold and mechanical fashion; there was some modicum of etiquette among the backstabbers, as if they were doing me a favour.

They established power through international bank manipulation; after carefully extrapolating possible outcomes, massive pools of debt were formed leaving nations to fight over the scraps from the masters table. After the onset of of the first multinational weapon strikes, the technocrats seized control of the remains of the shattered nation-states and established the grid line. With the first Cerebral Templar Extractor Devices being implemented, the very concepts of identity and the subconcious was smashed, replaced by duty. Refusal to comply resulted in a trip to the science hospital; at least that's how I got here.

The steely facade eruption in cascade of white light. Drawing my nose from the mud, I struggled to see through the chaos.

Freedom. Christ, is this really happening?

My legs moved of their own accord, pumping like pistons. Interceptor units largely ignored me as they focused their firepower towards the small contigent of chaosmongers attempting to inflitrate the politcal re-education wing of the hospital through force. My only thoughts we of outside as I raced towards the fissure in the containment wall. As I felt the hot breath of gunfire strafe the barbed wire snares behind me I threw caution to the wind, leaping wildly through the breach...

LINCL10-12

2006-01-24T17:53:00.000-08:00

keys clicking
typing out words of promise, hope, rage, boredom.
i sit here alone in a 3 walled cubicle
purpose only to stop me from seeing any life besides this flickering screen
is that what i am paying for?

Drag Racism

2006-01-12T16:55:00.000-08:00

Perverted rapist wanted in Edmonton
Ten frenchmen applied

... of Eros and Thanatos

2006-01-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

You showed me love as poetry and film
Nervous glances and painful silences
I showed you love as arson and broken vows

Those eyes
Those three words
Caught in my throat like a trapped rodent

The rivers we've wept together have dried up
A pheonix in flight is a pheonix in flames
Those words cut me
Those eyes bled me

Grabled words spill from my lacerated throat
Like drowning rats jumping ship to a vengeful sea
Breaking on you like water on a stone

My darling, take my hand
Take my hand
To the grave

New Years

2005-12-31T17:04:00.000-08:00

Happy new years Television
I love the way I turn you on
Tonight I'll raise a glass
And offer anothers years worth of Scotch soaked promises
To you

Just listen, like you allways do
And let's stay in tonight and watch the world
And count the revolutions per minute

Untitled

2005-12-29T12:40:00.000-08:00

This is how you like to see me
The boy with paper thin cheeks
Awaiting a kiss from your broken glass lips

You like to see me covered in debris
Choking on dust
Choking on my breath

I don't like the taste of blood
So why can't I stop biting my tongue?
I love seeing things through your eyes

(Words) You fail me

the trees

2005-12-26T20:01:00.000-08:00

I see the betrayal in his eyes
hear the quavering sincerity in his voice
his hand reaches for my arm
I hold back unintentionally
as the sound of a tree falling fills my throat
but he does not hear it
the many trees which have been felled in his honor
he has been deaf to them all
maybe it is I
I who have been deaf
surrounded by my trees for too long
their own sounds muffling everything else
my breathe-the wind
my tears-the rain
my laughter-the rustling of leaves
each cacophony of sounds rising up and muting everything else
it is my own forest
complete
in it I can breathe, but can anyone else.
and so I turn to him
prepared to invite him in, showing him the path
but every time I try my personal cacophony fills my senses
until I forget even my own words
and I retreat back
I climb into the trees
higher and higher until I am dizzy
all so I can see the path which is there to take
but I don't leave
not even to save myself from the trees.

Sand

2005-12-26T19:48:00.000-08:00

Your eyes
like the bottomless cups of coffee I drink
getting through the days without you
and every touch you give
only leaves me feeling like Iccuris
your fingerprint burned onto my skin
everything I see your back, your neck streched out
your walk
like an ibis.

I feel like I am stranded
on an island
in the sea of you
and every word you threw at me
rolls back to me
washing me
taking a little every time it rolls back
my island receding.

barren and alone
only waiting for the seed to be dropped
from you
my ibis
my bringer of life
I wait
as I slowly disappear
dispersed so casually into you
its all I can do.
and it is all I want.

2005-12-23T06:32:00.000-08:00

Broken
but darkly beautiful pieces of
our two year past
torn
in one pathetic moment.

One
minute so close in stomach
earthquake causing warm embrace
but
in the next completely extinct.

The
attraction and comfort and companionship
built on secrets shared with no one else
gone
with just a few words of farewell.

Those
words just slipped from my lips
with much uncertainty and hesitation
yet
they still breathily wandered out.

And
with that my dreams of rejection
yet again haunt my sleep so that I wake with
dark
circles under my eyes and lonely fatigue.

Each
night I want to again fall asleep to your
soothing voice telling me sweet nothings but I
let
it go and it is now a whisper across my memory.

My
friends adamantly believe my farewell was
more than right but never do I express my
true
feelings of wanting our hearts to be chained.

But I had to let go
for love does not as they often say
consist in gazing at one another
but in looking outward

together

in the same direction.

The Love I Found

2005-12-22T22:48:00.000-08:00

When the eyes met
It was fire and sparks
Now I am a junkie
And you are my track marks

Lycanthrope

2005-12-21T19:45:00.000-08:00

This blood pumping through my veins
This is the blood of a predator

This blood that stains my jowls
This is the blood of children
This is the blood of the nameless, the forgotten

This concrete jungle I prowl
This kingdom of concrete and steel
Compels me to hunt

Eat
Fuck
Kill

In the light of the billboard
I shift

2005-12-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

She isn't an exhaustion
But a catalyst for the hours.
A temporary companion
Pieced by stiff shoulders,

By breasts.
Hands.
And hip bones.

Specific about wanting more
She attempts to seduce.
He's fixated with a door
"Is it a ruse?" "Nothing but a ruse."

Poetic?
Sounding pathetic?
Sounding, if at all?

The girl is young
Insecure, and by tenfold increased
As she falls for this Ming
Lover and trysts.

Twelve years more of feeling the sun's rays.
Twelve years more of music, books and films.
Twelve years more of wandering hands.

What's twelve years more?
A lifetime to him,
An insecurity to her.
And the fixation on the door.

Junior

2005-12-05T06:28:00.000-08:00

You're a little puppet who dangles on a string
With no idea of the consequence you bring
You wobble through a land a thousand years old
Your shiny new paint conspicous and bold
Lookin' for gold

Dictatin' the lives of a billion and one
You're holdin' the world under the barrel of a gun
Liberate your weapon and fight me if you choose
I don't care how many fingers you lose
I got one for you

You shoot rounds into enemy chests
While I shoot sounds into innocent heads
So no one gets scared when I come around
I never say duck but they always get down
Down to my sound

How did you get to where you are today
Sayin all the things you don't know how to say
Someone up there is lookin out for you
Or is it someone down here who knows what to do
Speakin through you

You do what you do because you do what you're told
By a vision of god from the testament of old
But if he saw the chair that you're well known to use
He'd fry you in it whatever your excuse
Good luck in them shoes

I'd buy you up if I only had the money
Make you soak your little balls in honey
And send out the bees to bring you to your knees
And laugh in your face as you're beggin to me
You're a disease

So here I am taking pots shots at you
Shootin from the lip not a b52
You can pull off my strings and fill me full of lead
But you can never change the things that i've said
Lurkin' in your head
Sweatin' in your bed
Forever till you're dead